Literally from Me: Questions in my head

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the people around me. I've just realize that not many people dare to say things to my face, that I don't have many friends and that I try so hard to make people happy. Then I ask myself, why do I try so hard to make people happy or like me? Why am I so bothered that the fact that I don't have many friends? Also, why won't people be more honest with me ?

First question, why do I try so hard to make people happy or like me? I guess I wanted attention. Then again, I like to watch the people that I love to be happy because it makes me happy. But what about the people that I care less? Why do I still try to make them happy? Attention? Maybe. Do I feel happy when I make them happy? Not really. Maybe, because I can? Yeah, maybe that's why. I guess I like the challenge of trying to make people happy. Although I am a bit bias. I don't know why, but I love making guys happy than making ladies/girls happy. Maybe because I had a lot of bad experience with the ladies/girls. Well, that's another story.

Second question, why am I so bothered that the fact that I don't have many friends? I started being all lonely when I was 13 years old. Come to think of it, that's when most of my girl friends try so hard to be bitchy, pretty and popular. Maybe I wasn't that eager to change myself. I don't know. All I know is that I lost a lot of my girl friends because of guys. The girls thought that I was flirty because I like to hang out with guys but the truth is, I can handle guys more than I can handle girls. Yes! As a lady/girl, I admit that ladies/girls are COMPLICATED. Come to think about it, I should stop feeling bothered about this issue. I mean, I still have great friends, just not many. Right now, I have 5 great friends: Alif (loving and protective), Azmie (funny and understanding), Ili (my extra weird friend but I love her), Khai (she's sweet and adorable) and lastly, my latest friend, Fat (cute and naive). I appreciate them very much.

Third question, why won't people be more honest with me? That question, I can't answer because it involves other people but I can make assumptions. Maybe, they're scared of me? I don't know, it just seem that way. Or maybe, I look like a person that will explode when people are honest with me? Do I? I hope not. Maybe, I didn't take someone's honest opinion very well? Have I? Hmmm....maybe, I tend to be straight forward with things and people are afraid that I might say something that will hurt them with they were honest with me? Those are all MAYBEs. But, I do have answers from the people I love on why they weren't honest with me.

Alif: I didn't want the truth to destroy our relationship and sometimes, relationship is built from lies.

Azmie: I didn't want to hurt your feelings.

These two admit they lied to me but I forgive them. I prefer people to be honest with me. So I can just hope that people would be more honest with me. I can just HOPE.

Literally from Me: My Graduation Day-75% Happiness and 25% Disappointment

Everyone has that special days. You know, wedding, graduation and even birthday are considered special to some people. As for me, I just had my first graduation day. I was so excited. I couldn't stop smiling. I'm sure for anyone, they would really like to celebrate it with the most important people in their life. For me, other than my family, my boyfriend and my best friend are the 2 people I want to celebrate with.

But....sadly, both of them cancel at the last minute. It's very sad for me because I really wanted them to come. At least take pictures with me or something. I've never feel so disappointed in my life.

Yes. I should be happy. It is my graduation day...but I cried on that special day. I was heart broken by 2 people. The 2 people that were always there for me. I keep a positive mind but I am still crushed inside. I hope they would make me happy again because, they hurt me. People who purposely hurt didn't hurt me that bad.

No use crying over spilled milk. Just take a lesson from all this. That's how I lift myself. I will always remember my principle:

Learn from the past

Ready for the present

Prepare for the future

So, to change the mood, I'll share some of my graduation photos now. Enjoy~

Door way to the hall of "FAME".

I love my Baju Kebaya.

With my dad. He bought me the teddy bear.

And my mum bought me the flowers.

It's been awhile since I got a present so I was still very excited even after the disappointment.

Video of the Day: Rocketeer or Shed a Tear

Shed a Tear by Nigahiga, Chestersee and Kevjumba is a parody from Rocketeer by Far East Movement. What I love about this is that it made my day better because I LOL when I watch the video. Thumbs up to Ryan, Kevin and Chester.

Here is Rocketeer by Far East Movement:

And here is Shed a Tear by Ryan, Kevin and Chester:

Video of the Day: "Agents of Secret Stuff" a.k.a "A.S.S"

Last week, I had to go through a week of examination and it was pretty tough because I had no gap between papers. After my Accounting paper, I was really down. I will be lucky if I pass the paper. I dislike Accounting subjects because I can't understand the concept completely. So that night, I was trying to find some stuff to ease my mood. It was 24th November 2010. Ryan Higa upload this short movie video called "Agents of Secret Stuff". I've liked Ryan's video since I found the "Dear Ryan: Makeup Guru" video.

So I watched his short movie but had some trouble because Internet here was kinda of sucks. But it was worth the waiting. I LOVE his short movie. It really made my day. I was laughing so hard and felt better instantly. I really thank Ryan for the short movie video. It really made my day.

For anyone, who had a bad day or in a bad mood, guys go watch it.

To watch the short movie video, click here:
"Agents of Secret Stuff"

This is Ryan.

This is the short movie poster. Click it to watch the movie.

Advice of the Day: Wise words from my best friend..

One day, I was treated really bad from some girls in my class. I was very upset because it was all a misunderstanding because they were not honest with me. I was sad. I cried. I told my best friend about it. His name is Azmie and this is what he said to me:

Friends are not important..because when you're going through the ups and downs of life, it is not your friends that are helping you but it is actually you yourself.

If you don't care about me, I don't mind..what's important is that I rather see you become successful..having you as a friend is enough for me.

What matters now is that you get what you want..when you're successful, you'll remember the hardship that you had gone through.

That hardship will become your greatest memories..because success without hardship is nothing.

You will smile when you have succeed..and at that time, I will congratulate you because you have gone through difficult times with worthless friends and still made it..

You have proof to them that you can succeed even when they had treat you like shit. So take hardship as a motivation to strive..because you can do it..and you will be successful.

It is not easy to succeed and it is not hard to fail. Remember that.

I cried again but not because I was sad, but because I was so happy that I had a great friend like him.
Thank you Azmie.
For the motivation and support you have gave me.

Literally from Me: Perfection cannot exist..

What is perfection?
Wikipedia says perfection is broadly, a state of completeness AND flawlessness.
That sounds fishy if you ask me.

I was listening to lectures in my classes and noticed that the lecturers keep talking about being perfect.

"Nobody is perfect"

Well, that's true.
But....then I thought, what makes a perfect person if he/she exist?
I've got some opinions from friends and lecturers:

"Perfect is pretty like models."
"Perfect in both mentally and physically: positive attitude and nice face."
"Perfect is sexy. Smart is hard."
"Perfect depends on a person's view of the meaning perfect."

So far, I get it that no one can be perfect but what if this "perfect" person exists?
Everyone must agree that he/she is perfect.
That's he/she is handsome/pretty.
But that's difficult because people have different view of opinions and perceptions.


My conclusion:

A perfect person is everything.
(fat, skinny, smart, stupid, pretty, ugly, caring, selfish etc you get the idea)


Why do I say this?
Think about it.
If you're everything, no one will complain that you are not perfect.
And this can be achieve in one way:

SHAPE SHIFTING

Literally from Me: Choices...

It's been a while since my last update. Reason?

CHOICES

Yup. For the past few weeks, I had to make choices that needed extreme consideration and full understanding of the situation.
It took me a while to get things through and make a choice.
But....sadly, I'm still dealing with choices.

OPINIONS
Great to hear if the people you're talking to you know you and understand what you're going through.
However, some people just give their opinions based on what they would do not really of what is the best choice.

EXPERIENCES
Good to hear because you get the early picture of what is to come and can be prepare for it.
But...if you hear a bad experience before the the good experience, you tend to have bad perceptions about it already.

Currently, I'm still trying to make a choice.
If only I could take both choices, that would solve my problems.

Two similar roads but only one can be chosen.

Literally from Me: Like, adore or love?

I'm curious.
What is the differences between like, adore and love?
I'm confused.
Let me explain.

I like this guy because he has such a nice voice.
I start to watch his videos, follow his twitter and post about him in my blog.
After I got to know him more, I start to adore him.(I think)
He's someone I would like to chat and hang out more if I ever have the chance.

But now, I don't know I feel about him.
Like or adore or love?
I don't know.
Maybe I'm just a big fan.

Poem from Me: Lost and Hurt

I know you're tired and I know you're not well.

But why do I have to be the victim?
Why do I have to be the one who gets hurt by you?
Did I do wrong?
Or are you punishing me for something?
Because I feel that way.

Feel like you purposely hurt me.
Maybe it's true that you hurt the ones you love.
Or maybe you couldn't control your temper.
What ever the reason.
I'm tired of it.
So stop hurting me.

I'm scared I might break.
Or heart broken until everything is too late for me.
I don't know how to express it.
I'm scared to say it out because you're scary when your temper or moody.
So I'm writing it down to let you read.
And hear me when I say "Please, don't hurt me anymore".

My heart can't take it.
Please, if you love me, stop hurting me.
I'm wounded already by you.
Why are you widening my wounds?
Do I deserve this from you?

Maybe I made a mistake.
I don't know but if I did I'm sorry.
Maybe you wanna see me burst into flame.
Please don't, it's not a pretty sight.
Maybe you were hoping something from me.
I don't know so please tell me.

Because right now,
I'm lost and hurt by you.

Advice of the Day: Boobs is good for men..LOL

I found this funny short article while browsing the internet. I think the guys would love to read this. It's in Malay so I'll write down the translation below the article.

Translation:
Breasts can expand man's age.
Staring at a woman's breasts for 10 minutes can expand a man's age by 5 to 6 years. This is not a joke as it is proven by a group of researchers after conducting experiment for 5 years on 200 pure men in Europe. The research was lead by a woman name Dr. Karen Weatherby. In the New England Journal of Medicine, she explain that staring at a woman's breasts for 10 minutes a day is equal to 30 minutes of exercise in the gym.

Sound interesting? It is to me. But I think this "exercise" will lead to major problems like social, ethics and morals. Then again, it is a good news for the guys as they now have a reason to stare at a woman's boobs. For girls and ladies, if you don't like guys staring at your boobs, do wear something proper. Sexual harassment might happen due to over-exercise by the guys.

Literally from Me: 16 facts about me :D

1. I love and adore cats :3
2. Draw to express and write to elaborate.
3. Love to cook because I love food and I believe that there are more to food than just for eating.
4. Believe that everything happens for a reason.
5. I don't like shopping but don't mind window shopping.
6. Listens to musics when stressed out.
7. Believe that everyone is unique in many ways.
8. Loves the beach.
9. Disgusted by any slimy and no-bone land creature. Eg: worms
10. Never gets tired of new knowledge.
11. Likes criticism from other people.
12. Easy to cheer up but also easy to get depress.
13. Little things DOES matter!!!
14. Too optimistic.
15. Believe in second chances.
16. Like hot tempered guys.

Well, that's 16 facts about me. It's suppose to be 66 facts to represent my birthday (6 June) but that will be a boring list of things about me.

Literally from Me: Having Dejavu O.o Zionism Again

Zionism - Is this what we want?

Here we go again. Facebook is full of groups like "we strongly condemn the attack of Israel on the Gaza aid ships", "Save Gaza", "we are with Gaza" and etc. People keep talking about how they hate this war, Zionis should be demolished, people should support this that bla bla bla. To be honest, I'm tired of this things. It's like...DEJAVU. Repeating the same thing all over again. But then again, I have predicted that this issue will be rise again. Haha...me and my big mouth.

I don't know if you guys noticed it but the television channels are full of war movies, war documentaries and even war cartoons. What's wrong with the world? If you seriously want the war to stop then stop talking about war. Start talking about the positive side like peace and harmony. Set your mind straight!

And one more thing. Most people only talk the talk but they never walk the talk. A simpler way to describe this is the N.A.T.O concept.

N.A.T.O = No Action, Talk Only

Literally from Me: Violence doesn't solve a lot of things..

The influence of media

I'm watching television on the discovery channel and here I see violence inflected among people all around the world. I hate seeing this. People fighting with each other, public citizens fighting with polices and vice versa. Is violence that necessary to solve a problem? Is this act the best way to solve things? To all you people, there are other ways to solve problems! Don't you know that the environment plays an important in making a better future? If you people have so much time in your hands, go do something that is much more beneficial to the world or at least, to our mother nature.

I'm getting too emotional. If it is true that the only way to solve all the problems in the world is by having unlimited energy, then I would really like biodiesel and biofuel to be successful.

P.S: Sorry for the emotional post. I won't be watching any more violence. Really affect me from inside.

Comic of The Day: Mother's Love

I actually cried reading this.
I got this comic from one of my lecturer.
This is a true story and this happened two years ago.
A mother sacrificed her life to protect her baby.
This is the picture after the baby has been brought to safety.



I don't know how the baby is now but I think he's doing fine.
He was 3months old when the earthquake happened.

Video of The Day: T-Shirt War!!!

I found this cool video in YouTube and I wanna share it.
It's call T-Shirt War and it's about two guys named Rhett & Link having a T-shirt war.
I know it sounds funny but check it out:



I love this. It's unique and interesting.
This was their video in February 2010.
Their next video was a commercial for McDonald and Coke Cola.
Check it out here:



Cool right?
It's videos like this that impressed me.
Little things can be become awesome things.

Video of The Day: Being fat is illegal in Japan

I was browsing around youtube when suddenly, I found this video.



Facts about the video:
Employees who are over the age of forty must have a waist size of 33" for man and 35" for woman.
The consequences if a company fail to achieve this, billion dollar penalty.

Now this is something new to me.
Interesting. Imagine if Malaysia did this with a different waistline.
Most probably, food like Nasi Lemak, Chicken Curry, Rendang etc are banned.
That will cause some havoc in Malaysia, don't you think?

If you ask me, I think this is great because it is a way to reduce obesity among adults in Japan.
Maybe to some of you, 33" is hard to achieve but it's average for people in Japan.

Japanese normal dishes: Vegetable, Miso soup and some fishes Total calorie count = 600

McDonald Big Mac set:
Big mac, large fries and coke
Total calorie count = 1 300

That's a huge difference.
No wonder the Japan government make it illegal to be fat in Japan.
It does brings a good lesson.

Maybe Malaysia can do something like this.
Like this campaign Nestle did last Saturday.
They were promoting Breakfast cereals and Fitness cereals by making promotions
Then there was these counters where anyone age 21 and above can check their body mass and the percentage of fat in their body to see whether they are healthy or not.
I did this test and my body mass is 23.6 and the ideal body is scale of 18 - 25.
Even though I have an ideal body but my percentage of fat is quite high and I need to loss that excess fat.
This campaign is good because it promotes good health and let people know the percentage of fat in the body.
They even give advices and pamphlets for good health.
While the adults get to check their body mass, the children get to play Wii there.
That's what I call good promotion.

Literally from Me: What You're Wondering and Thinking Does Matter...

Everyone wonders and thinks of many, many things and this is good, for certain issues.

Have you ever heard of "Think Positive"? Of course you have. It's one of the most common advice.
But what does it actually mean?
Think about this:

If you are anti-war, then I am pro-peace.
If you are anti-hate, then I am pro-love.
If you are anti-racist, then I am pro-unity.
If you are anti-hunger, then I am pro-everyone-gets-enough-food-to-eat.

Get my point? It's how you look at things.
Try this: Look at the picture below.

Do you see the glass half full or half empty?

If you look at it as half full, you think positively.
If you look at it as half empty, then you think negatively.

But don't worry. Everyone is unique and that's why people see things differently.
A positive thinking is never complete without a negative thinking.
Why I say this?
Why do you think "+" is attracted to "-" and not "+"?
It is naturally attracted to each other.

That's why, sometimes, the best person for you might be the opposite of you.
Think about it.

What's wrong with me? O.o

Lately, I've been angry for no reason, pissed off for no reason and moody for no reason. What the hell is wrong with me??!!! I don't know for sure but I think it's because of the headache I've had for the past few days. It's not getting any better so don't ask me to take my medicine. I already did.

That's one issue. Another is that I feel the urge to look at shirtless guys. I don't know what's wrong with me. Luckily, I have some photos to look at.
Check it out:

2am Korean

Jo Kwon (same age as me)

Seulong (the tallest LOL)

Jin Woon (The youngest)

Chang Min (my favorite)

Because I like Chang Min more than the other members of the 2am. I have extra photos of him.
Enjoy~

Photo for jeans. (forgot what brand)

Men's Health magazine. He was chosen for the front page.

Lastly, inside Men's Health magazine. My personal favorite.

P.S: You can get this photos just by Google.

Literally from Me: To Mum and Dad, I love you..

Mom and Dad. I love you.

Mother's day have just passed. The good thing about Mother's day is that it let's every children in the world to appreciate their mother. Same goes to Father's day too. I appreciate my parents for what they have done for me all these time. I know I've done so many mistakes that troubled them, displeased them and even hurt them. I've used their money for my personal needs and wants. I've done things that betrayed their trusts.


To mum and dad, you are everything to me. Without you, I wouldn't have gone this far. That's for sure. I am not making any promises to you. No use for words, I'm just gonna show it.
Just wait
:)

Mum
Dad
I love you

My List of Things To Do (For Now)

Things To Do (List 1)

1. Redecorate my room.
2. Meet some people that I haven't meet up for a while.
3. Go out and have lunch with Ikhwan and Hidayat.
4. Go visit Ili with Azmie.
5. Cook something for Farid when he comes to visit.
6. Meet up with a chef :>
7. Learn to make 3rasa cookies with auntie behind my house.
8. Plan a vacation for my family.
   

Well, that's all I have so far. Is this mission impossible? Nope! Not for me...it's a challenge!

I am a hunter. Determine to take up the challenge. MEOW!!

I don't believe it O.o

I can't believe that I've spent 3 years in UiTM Jengka. My uncle and cousins didn't think I could do it too. Time really flies.

Now for the sad part.

When I was in the car, I looked at my campus and said "Bye! I'm gonna miss you, Jengka."
At first, I meant it as a joke but I felt sad suddenly.
I guess, I will miss Jengka.

The place that thought me a lot of things.
The place where I met great people.
The place where I learn a lot of different things.
The place where I did what I thought I could never have done.

But....
The place where I don't really feel satisfied with the food.
The place where the "Pak Guard" treat us like little kids.
The place where there are too much procedures and policies.

All and all, it's okay.
I manage to survive and cope with the environment, policies and procedures.
BUT...I still don't like the food that much. URGH!

Sweet Cafe in Jengka. The food? So-so.

Memories of UiTM Pahang. I will cherish it forever.

I don't know why I'm so emotionally disturb all of a sudden.
I guess I never thought that I'll miss Jengka.
Oh well. I can go there anytime I want so no big deal. Hehe..

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/P4B

What Have I Done?!!!

Today

I meet up with him
To "teach" him
To "guide" him
In a sinful way

Suddenly
I felt something
Is it guilt or just a normal feeling?
Nope, it's nothing
Yes, I feel nothing.

I did you wrong
I twist my words
You believed me
I'm happy
Smile, no, it was a grin
What's wrong with me?

What have I done?
I abuse your trust
Your faith, your love
All I can say is....
I'm sorry

The devil caught me and I couldn't deny him
I will change for you
I'll repent to you
I'M SORRY


This is just a poem. I wrote this based on my friend's heart broken relationship story with her boyfriend. Sad? I know. Just hope things will be better for them.
Anyways, do comment about the poem. Really appreciate it.
Thank you.

Drawing is my hobby, not my talent...

Many people think I have talent in drawing but actually, I don't. I just love to draw.

It's my hobby since I was a little girl.
I draw when I'm bored or just feel like drawing something.
I don't really look for inspirations or ideas to draw.

Here are some of my drawings:

This is a drawing of my boyfriend when he was form 5.

This drawing, I don't really remember why I drew it.

Some of you might be asking, "If drawing is not my talent, then how can I draw?"
The answer is simple.

LEARN AND PRACTICE

That's what I did.
I learn how to draw from other people and I practice my drawing skills.
This is how much I love to draw.
When I don't know something, I learn, observe and ask to get the answer.
You should too because...

If you believe that the impossible is possible, then you can do anything

Jengka: A memorable place for me..

This for all my friends in Universities or Colleges.

These are for my lecturers.

I have to admit, even though Jengka has no arcade, no malls, no place to hang out, just have KFC, Sweet Apple and 7 Eleven, I'm gonna miss Jengka.
It's a good place to study because there is no distractions.

I'm gonna miss the friends I've made through out the 6 semester in UiTM Jengka.

I'm gonna miss Associate Professor Hamdan (my marketing and selling lecturer), Miss Suria (my law lecturer) and all the lecturers that I've meet and who have taught me so much.

I hope I'll be able to see you guys in the future.
All of you have become someone in my life.
Thank you.

Don't be caught up with stress...

What does these health problems have in common?

It all comes from one thing.
STRESS

Yes, stress is the main reason you have diseases or discomforts in both mentally and physically.
Here are some symptoms of STRESS.
If you have ANY of these symptoms, then you are STRESSED.

• Feeling easily angry, irritated or frustrated.(Sometimes without no reason)
• Feeling overwhelmed.
• Change in eating habits.(Not because of diet or health)
• Problem concentrating.
• Feeling nervous or anxious.(without any reason)
• Trouble sleeping.(discarding people who have insomnia or just nocturnal)
• Problems with memory.
• Feeling burned out from work.
• Feeling that you can't overcome difficulties in your life.
• Having trouble functioning in your personal life.

Solutions to STRESS?
Here are some you might want to try:

• Talk to people who are close to you.(don't look for people who are also STRESSED)
• Get enough SLEEP.(it keeps the mind calm and in a rest mode)
• Be physically active.(a healthy body keeps the mind healthy)
• Think of positive things.(be grateful and think of happy thoughts.it relaxes the mind)
• Meditate.(relax the mind and be in peace)
  

If you have tried these solutions and still feel the same, seek professional help. DON'T let go unchecked.

==Just some tips on handling stress==

Save our environment :p

What do you think of these pictures?

Rubber - One of Malaysia's main resources.

Durian - The King of Fruits

Padi field in Jelebu.

Cameron Highland. Known for tea and strawberry.

Waterfall at Bukit Hijau, Kedah.

To me, it reminds me of how beautiful our environment is and how it has contribute so much to our life.
Most of our food supplies comes from nature.
Most of our raw materials comes from nature.
Let's save and protect our environment from pollutions and destruction.
Little things help to make a better future.
Be environmental friendly.
We can do so much with just little things.