Literally from Me: Questions in my head

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the people around me. I've just realize that not many people dare to say things to my face, that I don't have many friends and that I try so hard to make people happy. Then I ask myself, why do I try so hard to make people happy or like me? Why am I so bothered that the fact that I don't have many friends? Also, why won't people be more honest with me ?

First question, why do I try so hard to make people happy or like me? I guess I wanted attention. Then again, I like to watch the people that I love to be happy because it makes me happy. But what about the people that I care less? Why do I still try to make them happy? Attention? Maybe. Do I feel happy when I make them happy? Not really. Maybe, because I can? Yeah, maybe that's why. I guess I like the challenge of trying to make people happy. Although I am a bit bias. I don't know why, but I love making guys happy than making ladies/girls happy. Maybe because I had a lot of bad experience with the ladies/girls. Well, that's another story.

Second question, why am I so bothered that the fact that I don't have many friends? I started being all lonely when I was 13 years old. Come to think of it, that's when most of my girl friends try so hard to be bitchy, pretty and popular. Maybe I wasn't that eager to change myself. I don't know. All I know is that I lost a lot of my girl friends because of guys. The girls thought that I was flirty because I like to hang out with guys but the truth is, I can handle guys more than I can handle girls. Yes! As a lady/girl, I admit that ladies/girls are COMPLICATED. Come to think about it, I should stop feeling bothered about this issue. I mean, I still have great friends, just not many. Right now, I have 5 great friends: Alif (loving and protective), Azmie (funny and understanding), Ili (my extra weird friend but I love her), Khai (she's sweet and adorable) and lastly, my latest friend, Fat (cute and naive). I appreciate them very much.

Third question, why won't people be more honest with me? That question, I can't answer because it involves other people but I can make assumptions. Maybe, they're scared of me? I don't know, it just seem that way. Or maybe, I look like a person that will explode when people are honest with me? Do I? I hope not. Maybe, I didn't take someone's honest opinion very well? Have I? Hmmm....maybe, I tend to be straight forward with things and people are afraid that I might say something that will hurt them with they were honest with me? Those are all MAYBEs. But, I do have answers from the people I love on why they weren't honest with me.

Alif: I didn't want the truth to destroy our relationship and sometimes, relationship is built from lies.

Azmie: I didn't want to hurt your feelings.

These two admit they lied to me but I forgive them. I prefer people to be honest with me. So I can just hope that people would be more honest with me. I can just HOPE.

Literally from Me: My Graduation Day-75% Happiness and 25% Disappointment

Everyone has that special days. You know, wedding, graduation and even birthday are considered special to some people. As for me, I just had my first graduation day. I was so excited. I couldn't stop smiling. I'm sure for anyone, they would really like to celebrate it with the most important people in their life. For me, other than my family, my boyfriend and my best friend are the 2 people I want to celebrate with.

But....sadly, both of them cancel at the last minute. It's very sad for me because I really wanted them to come. At least take pictures with me or something. I've never feel so disappointed in my life.

Yes. I should be happy. It is my graduation day...but I cried on that special day. I was heart broken by 2 people. The 2 people that were always there for me. I keep a positive mind but I am still crushed inside. I hope they would make me happy again because, they hurt me. People who purposely hurt didn't hurt me that bad.

No use crying over spilled milk. Just take a lesson from all this. That's how I lift myself. I will always remember my principle:

Learn from the past

Ready for the present

Prepare for the future

So, to change the mood, I'll share some of my graduation photos now. Enjoy~

Door way to the hall of "FAME".

I love my Baju Kebaya.

With my dad. He bought me the teddy bear.

And my mum bought me the flowers.

It's been awhile since I got a present so I was still very excited even after the disappointment.

Video of the Day: Rocketeer or Shed a Tear

Shed a Tear by Nigahiga, Chestersee and Kevjumba is a parody from Rocketeer by Far East Movement. What I love about this is that it made my day better because I LOL when I watch the video. Thumbs up to Ryan, Kevin and Chester.

Here is Rocketeer by Far East Movement:

And here is Shed a Tear by Ryan, Kevin and Chester: