Literally from Me: Parents

This is an entry of a daughter who loves her parents so very much. Yes. It is going to get very emotional so if you don't like then stop reading.

I am a daughter to very intelligent and loving parents. I am the eldest of 4 siblings and I am the only daughter. Many people assume 2 things about me:

1. I am a responsible daughter that takes care of the family because I am the eldest.
2. I am a spoil daughter who gets everything she wants because I am the only daughter.

Well guess what? I am none of the above. Facts about me:

1. My second sibling is more responsible than I am and he REALLY takes care of the family. I respect him for being that way and I am not jealous. I try to be better though.
2. I try to spoil myself by demanding things and attention from my parents but it was never enough for me. I am very greedy and selfish. I look at what other people have and not what I have.

At the age of 13 years old, I feel that my parents are unfair. They never let me go out with my friends, they scold for trying stylish clothing and they always say "NO" to everything I want. So I became rebellious. I lie, sneak out and always accept the punishment because I wanted the enjoyment. To me, it was worth it and nothing is going to change me.

But then, 18 years old, maturity hit me hard like a rock. I understand everything behind my parents' actions when I was at school. My so-called friends were planning on using me, my "stylish" clothing was sexy and everything that they have said "no" to was only the things I wanted to show off to the other girls. I was a foolish daughter for thinking negatively of them. They were always there to protect me and teach me. I hurt them. I am a terrible daughter. Forgive me. I will be better for both of you.

Age 22 years old, I have good relationships with my parents. I try to understand them, make them happy because I love to see them smile. I might not understand work stress yet but I try to make them forget about it. But as I try, mum and dad scold me sometimes. It's okay. They were just stressful. I'll make sure the house is clean and organized for mum because I don't want her to overwork her body. She is not strong as she was before. It's okay mum, I'll do it for you. I want you to get enough rest. Dad sometimes comes home all moody because of work. It's okay dad, I cooked for you. I hope you like it. I may not be a good cook like mum but I will try for you. I love to see you eat dad. You always feel better when the food is right. 

But sometimes, I got lazy and start to procrastinate at home. I forgot to do a lot of things or it was not clean enough. Mum would do it herself and after, she'll be all moody. I regret being lazy because I don't like when mum is unhappy. Laziness made me cook things too simple. I repeat recipe and dad got bored of my cooking. He gets hungry and moody again but he will never complain about it. He'll complain it to mum. Then mum will get a headache. I feel bad and guilty when this happens. I am sorry mum and dad. I am trying to improve myself for both of you.

Age 23 years old, mum and dad sometimes think negatively of what I say. They say I have bad intonation and too direct. I hurt their feelings. I....am sorry mum dad. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I promise to be careful with my words and actions. I am human and I am not perfect. Forgive me. But, it happens again...and again...and again. What is wrong with me?! I keep hurting their feelings. I want to make them happy. I would keep trying to be better and improve myself for them. 

Mum and dad, 

If you are reading this entry, please know that I love you guys so much. You have taught me so much and are always there for me. Thank you for everything. I'm sorry for all the wrongs I've done. It was never my intention to hurt your feelings. I am improving and being a better person for you. I love you with all my heart.

Love,

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